Finding Meaning + Connectedness While "Social-Distancing"
Can you believe that "social-distancing" is the trending phrase of 2020 right now? It's so strange and sounds so foreign. And it's so counterintuitive to our human nature. We're meant for connection and to be around people. Yes, yes, I understand that some prefer less people interaction but everyone is seeking social connection on some level, whether it be in larger crowds/groups or one on one with another human.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Since the inception of social media, and the internet really, we've been pushed to "get off-line" and connect IRL (in real life) with the people around us. To be more present. To get our faces out of our phones or off our devices and enjoy the surroundings and people around us. Now, here we are in a time of grave national concern, and the biggest global health and economic crisis that many of us have ever experienced. We're being told to stay inside as much as possible. Only leave the house for essentials (think groceries/supplies). And when we are near others, keep a safe distance apart; with the recommendation being 6ft.
It's so weird now. For instance, the other day I was walking on the sidewalk to go to the store as I came upon a crowd of people hanging outside smoking and drinking coffee in front of their social club...and my eyes got real big as I held my breath to walk very quickly through them and past them while also wanting to scream, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" - That's such a surreal feeling - to be worried and upset that people are congregating near one another and socializing. You think to yourself, "That's not allowed." Then you think, "Well, this is bizarre that being together with people isn't allowed." ... People are literally going to start getting fined for this and some already have. Am I in a weird dystopian world? Is this the beginning of The Hunger Games or The Handmaids Tale? ...and my imagination takes off.
Traditional cloaks in Largo da Matriz square, Sao Miguel Island, Portugal © Steve Given
It's possible that this has only just begun - this being quarantining, isolation, and staying inside due to risk of exposure from a virus we're learning more about each day. Some say we'll be in this for several weeks or months even. With many schools closed and non-essential workforces told to work from home if they can, life is becoming a little more interesting albeit stressful to manage. Our normal has been stripped away. Our routines have been thrown out the window and we've been forced to adopt something new. We're scared, we're tired, we can't find the food or supply items we usually can, we certainly didn't sign up to be school teachers, and we have no idea when this will end. There's a collective sadness in the air; a darkness that has fallen over us, and we're trying to find the light again.
In times like these, we will feel all sorts of emotions. This article really helps grasp the weight of it all and the gamut of emotions you may experience throughout: That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief. It's an interview with David Kessler, an expert on the five stages of grief who wrote a book with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross expounding upon the subject.
In Seminary, learning about the five stages of grief is standard and I've probably visited each stage already through this process. What I didn't know was that Kessler now has a new book identifying the sixth stage of grief: finding meaning. And this is the stage I've actually spent the most time in over the last couple weeks. Because while life right now is certainly strange and capable of inducing anxiety along with an immense global heaviness, I acknowledge that there is something much deeper happening, and I want to pay attention to it.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Shifting the focus to a more positive perspective doesn't ignore the reality or gravity of what is happening around us. Doing so allows us to pause, to reflect, and to understand that while there is much uncertainty and grief, there is also a multitude of beautiful side effects or reasons to find joy.
I started a brief roundup of the fun, joyful or positive things I've been noticing in the midst of the COVID-19 health crisis. Listing them below and I'll share a couple links along the way.
Viral videos - In Italy, a country devastated by the virus, videos have gone viral with groups singing together from their balconies or projecting movies onto the next door building wall as they all try to bring a little more connectedness into their situation.
Watch Netflix with people who aren't physically with you - I'm sure the apps have existed before this time but there hasn't been one that many would vouch for. It seems like now the options have become a little more reliable. And certainly very necessary when all you really want to do is lounge on your couch with a big bowl of popcorn and watch a good movie with friends (from afar).
Virtual hangouts - My colleague at work mentioned that he and his friends got together for brunch online through Zoom video chat or another comparable app. They each made their own breakfast and cocktails and spent time virtually with one another since they aren't able to physically be together. - I've also seen dance parties and karaoke parties which I most certainly want to get in on!
Working remotely - This can be a challenge for teams and it can seem hard to feel or stay connected. My team has done a great job with daily video check-ins, coffee talk breaks, and a virtual happy hour on Friday. We had our first themed happy hour last Friday with the theme being "tropical" or "beachy" since a couple of our people were supposed to be in Florida on the beach. People had festive drinks, sunglasses, Hawaiian shirts, and beach attire which made the whole experience more fun than just sitting there on the computer with a drink in hand.
More intention and creativity from businesses - Companies large and small are really being intentional about how they're connecting to their customers right now and to their local/greater communities. They send out messages of reassurance, encouragement, and are really trying their best to pivot so they can survive economically but are also finding incredible ways to nurture their people and give back any way they can. - One of my favorite creations was a quick response by two Charlotte, NC business leaders who created a website pooling together a list of local small businesses and how you could support them during this time. It's called Support Local or Else and they added Raleigh, NC businesses as well. (Just scroll down on the home page to choose which city).
More frequent check-ins with family and friends - I've really enjoyed this side of it. We're all pretty much out of our normal routines and that seems to have freed up some time to connect with people who aren't a part of those daily routines. We're thinking about our loved ones more and want to know they're okay or see if they need anything.
Thoughtfulness and Kindness - Strangers/People offering to help the elderly and immunocompromised by running their errands and delivering the items they need.
Volunteerism - Retired teachers or those who are no longer in the profession offering to help out kids who are now learning from home; giving reprieve to parents who really need it. - The same goes for healthcare professionals who are being called to the line of duty during this time of great need.
Community strength and bonding - People are coming together to find tangible ways to help local businesses stay open and to provide income for service industry professionals who have unexpectedly lost their jobs. People are acknowledging professions they usually take for granted and it's heartwarming to see.
Artists and musicians streaming concerts from home - connecting to their fans in a time when all concerts have been cancelled or postponed and large festivals have been rescheduled.
What else have you noticed in your communities, the world, or in your own personal life? A pretty good discussion has started on my facebook page online. Add your thoughts there and let us know!
Sending all my love ♥
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