Big Moon Energy

My creative energy is ferocious right now. Like a wild animal waiting to be released from its chains. Bursting at the seams. Overflowing. Overstimulated. And I can't figure out which avenue to pour it down. I could paint or throw the colored pencils and crayons on the floor and sprawl out with a sketchbook. I could dance and listen to music, draw on my iPad, or write...I can always write. I'm obviously writing.

So I've got a glass of red wine by my side and this computer in front of me. I'm just going to free-ball it here. Type as if I have nothing to lose and nothing to gain. My goodness, what to do with this energy? I LOVE IT. But it's also a bit over-stimulating. And this happens every now and again - and the more I become privy to my patterns when this occurs, the more I believe it has something to do with the cosmos. The planets. Astrological wonders that I'm still learning about. I'm paying attention more.

Tonight is the third and final supermoon of 2019. The first one was a doozy. It was such a cool experience - a full on Super Blood Wolf Moon Lunar Eclipse. Did you see it? It happened in January. I kept stepping out of my house to look up - the whole time wishing I was with a group of friends with a few telescopes and quality cameras for a watch party. I remember that it was freezing outside. I remember that I don't really have friends that do that. Unless I corral them and make it a thing. It should be a thing.

The other cool thing about tonight is that it's the Spring Equinox - which means that there are equally 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of nighttime. This signifies balance. And here we are with the supermoon in Libra - the sign of scales - "reminding us that two 'opposing' weights can find a healthy balance." That means something. This tie. This connection.

(Honestly, it's hard for me to keep focused on writing but let's continue...tomorrow...)

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And five days later, I'm back to round out some thoughts.

My creative energy is no longer drippingly palpable since the energy of the full supermoon has diminished. But my juices are still flowing and when you have creativity at your fingertips feeling like lightning bolts, you do something with it.

Since I'm leaning into astrology more, I'm taking a moment to recognize that I tend to feel overstimulated, sometimes stressed, insanely creative and enlightened around the month of April. Usually leading up to April and then it eventually settles.

I just learned that Aries season is the start of a new astrological year (starts on March 20 when I began writing this post) because Aries is considered the first Zodiac sign. So this signifies new beginnings - and usually there's a lot of anticipation and feelings of ambition around this time (like many of us feel leading up to January 1st). This time even used to be celebrated as the New Year until the Julian calendar was created. But there were rebels and misfits who wouldn't acknowledge the shift to January 1, so they continued to celebrate New Years around the beginning of April and were considered "APRIL FOOLS"! I never knew that! (I don't think) Learning new things, kids, learning new things.

Photo by Lars Kuczynski on Unsplash

So this makes sense to me. Why I usually feel like I'm bursting with new ideas and energy around this time. - I've been drawing more. Creating various things on my iPad with Procreate. I can't recommend this app enough. It's very versatile and I keep learning new things. I've been really into clipping images, whether it's from photos I find on Unsplash - an amazing photography community, photos of my own or random screenshots and internet finds. And then I take these clipped images, manipulate them into something interesting or create a digital collage. It's so me. Takes me back to my youth when I would cut out images and words from magazines and make a poster for my bedroom wall. *sigh*

I'd like to talk more about how I marry the seemingly opposing thoughts of the Christianity world I was raised in and the astrological world I've always been drawn toward. I actually had a pivotal moment last September when I visited New York City all on my own to find some healing and clarity. I couldn't sleep one night - at all. It was the worst insomnia I had ever experienced and I was exhausted. I think I was up on Twitter for a while because that's what you do when you can't sleep. *Insomniacs Unite*

I must have read something that really connected with me - stirred up my soul, fired up my brain and heart. Then I had this moment with God and my spiritual past - a real Dickens' moment - and I lost it. Like sobbing in my pillow lost it. But I wasn't sad. I was awakened.

For whatever reason, I was thinking about the Christmas story and the wise men. About how they followed the star to find Jesus and it dawned on me that these men were looking to the STARS for guidance. There's a debate about who these magi really were but many consider them to be royal astrologers which is why they read the stars.

Some part of myself has been trying to reconcile my historically religious self with this new found confidence in reading the stars and trying to understand what it all means. I have always been interested in astrology and astronomy but haven’t done much with that. And while some people cast off horoscopes, etc. as too *woo woo* - I’m not convinced that it isn’t legit.

If the moon phases effect the tides of the ocean, WHO AM I to believe that the moon doesn’t affect me too?? That the alignment of the planets and the stars in this magnificent and mysterious universe don't shift and create different energies in my life? There is so much more going on than we can possibly imagine. There is so much more to be discovered and learned - and I'm here for it.

My experience over the summer during the worst Mercury retrograde of my life (that I was aware of), had me searching for answers and in the most spiritual and profound way, I found them. Everything I was reading was spot on with my reality. Not in a vague, oh this could apply to anyone type of way - In an insightful and startling you *know* me type of way.

So, I'm done for. This is me, guys and gals. I'm complex just like you. I can hold seemingly opposing thoughts and find ways for them to connect and harmonize. If God isn't for you, that's cool. If astrology isn't your thing, that's cool. This is where I'm wading. In the middle of it all, painting greys.