Bring Your Dreams to Life
Photo by Maxime Bhm on Unsplash
There have been numerous times over the last few years where I find myself wading in a pool of self-doubt. I begin to spiral into negative thoughts about where I am in life and begin to fear that I’ll never get to where I want to be. Often times I come up against this train of thought telling me that I should be further along in life {{we’ll tackle that monster in another post}}. Most of my thoughts these days center around my “career.” Now that I have landed a job with a more consistent schedule, I am able to focus on things I’ve put to the side. However, I’m still not fully where I want to be.
At its very basic level, the life I dream of living is a life of creativity. One that is driven by an unknown force compelling me with new ideas of things I want to do and learn and be a part of every day. I am learning that I can do this no matter what my day job is. I am also learning that the only way to make this happen is to BE INTENTIONAL - with my time, with my relationships, what I read and listen to, the conversations I have…it all comes down to being intentional.
If I’m not intentional, my goals will never be accomplished.
I have plenty of items on my list of things I want to do before I die. Some of these items include write a book, learn watercolor, go skydiving, re-learn piano, have babies, take more language classes. All of these desires begin to pile onto one another and there are days when I feel so overwhelmed by the load (a burden that I only place on myself).
And then, there’s this one dream …this one dream I’ve had inside of my soul for a very long time.
What tends to happen with this particular dream is that I continue to discover people that are doing exactly what I want to be doing. And my first reaction has never been excitement. Most of the time, I just want to cry. They say to pay attention to why you cry. I have my thoughts about why these discoveries bring tears to my eyes. I’ve also learned that a lot of it has to do with my personality. I want to be the one to pioneer the idea. I want to introduce everyone to the something new and watch as they are amazed. I find joy in this. It’s also a little bit selfish and controlling. To be honest. So I’m trying to find the balance.
Have you ever been in a class where a teacher asks everyone to tell their favorite part of the book and why; then everyone is going around the circle, and the girl in her cute little dress wearing the yellow ribbon in her hair gives the exact brilliant answer that you were going to give?? You might as well go home now. She stole your thunder and there’s nothing left to say in the world. That’s the feeling I get when it comes to this.
You see, I’ve had this vision for about 13 years now. THIRTEEEEEN!!!! This is nearly half my life. There were times when I put this dream on the back-burner to let it simmer for a little while until it was ready to be stirred up again. And well, it’s been stirring in my soul something fierce for the last two and a half years. Most likely because I found myself in a major career and life transition. This tends to catapult people into digging down into their deepest desires. So… I dug this one back up, you could say.
Maybe you too have experienced these same feelings. Perhaps you have something burning inside of you: a desire, a vision, a dream that you want to achieve. Maybe your emotional wall is that you want it to happen RIGHT NOW but right now doesn’t seem to be the time. Or maybe the time is right but you don’t know how to find the time. I'm the one who wants it to happen NOW NOW NOW and have to keep coaching myself to understand that it takes a whole lot of baby steps toward the goal to make it happen. Maybe your wall is the self-doubt that keeps popping up...you hear internal voices telling you that it will never happen...or that you should focus on other (hear "more important") things.
You only have this one life to live
and it deserves to be filled with delight.
Friend, if there's one thing I wish I did years ago, it's this: That I chased after my dream with determination and grit, letting no one - not even those closest to me - tell me that I should focus on something more worthwhile. There will never be a better time than now. And if it's the fear of failure that doesn't allow you to move forward, give yourself permission to fail. "Allow yourself to find the things that you love and dedicate your life to doing those things." (Moby) This is what brings delight. This is how you come alive.